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Do Better.

by Ilan Makes Noise!

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1.
Too Late 02:03
1 AM, the clouds are gone, my door won't lock, I'm still trapped in here. And laying makes no sense when all my dreams of hope have collapsed this year. Another stub falls to the ground, the dust floats down so easily, If these walls hold 'til tomorrow, another day won't bring me down. Quit what you're doing to survive, you're ruining my life; permanently blind. The force in which you operate has no ability to commiserate, your pulse is dry, we'll never know why. 4 AM, your room fills with smoke, it's too damn late, throw up 'til i choke. The mess you've made now calibrates a brand new smell to celebrate. A new crack forms, straight down to the floor, your chair bows down, opens from the core. Fragments of a shattered wall uncover casualties. Quit what you're doing to survive, you're ruining my life; permanently blind. The force in which you operate has no ability to commiserate, your pulse is dry, we'll never know why. No more hate, no more lies; get the fuck out of our lives.
2.
Wait Outside 02:03
I left my jacket on the bathroom door. Yeah, I'm still here, can't get off the floor. Such a shame to be stuck like this, we play this game and it ends this way. Fill my hands with my dignity, it left last night, so I'm making up for the last time, No one seems to mind, while I quickly race to the other side. I know it's cold, but could you please just wait outside? There's so much of me I don't want you to see, for the rest of our lives. This night's almost over, just hang out in the corner, and we'll go home Soon as you find out where I've lost my keys, I bet they're thrown out with the Rest of my pride that you've swallowed inside, it's forced me to rise. My mouth's never filled up so easily. I know it's cold, but could you please just wait outside? There's so much of me I don't want you to see, for the rest of our lives. This night's almost over, I'm not getting sober, so try not to move. I know it's cold, but could you please just wait outside? There's so much of me I don't want you to see, of the rest of this night's Almost over, just hang out in the corner, and we'll be home soon.
3.
Afterthought 01:42
So am I sitting both legs bare, something stuffed inside my head? Promise there's no need to stare, please don't take me seriously. Everyone must know me better than I know myself. A simple thought to show the same page we're not born unto. Unfold my arms, uncross my eyes. Can you hear me right this time? Promise I'm not telling lies, this is wearing down what's mine. Everyone must know me better than I know myself. A simple thought to show the difference between me and you. (Unfold my arms, uncross my eyes. Does my hair look good tonight? Yeah that one cold december night, oops I did it right this time.)
4.
All these so called best days I think my minds already been beat Four closed walls and yet no sleep Every single night This same routine keeps me awake Driving your insanity All these so called best days Am i living to open minded With my eyes closed, and my hands on them Almost every night I'm losing sleep, like you could care These long hours always felt, so I thought I made it clear your existence Was a mere misunderstanding I'm coping with this hell, these lights won't let me tell If you would ask a second time I'd throw that door back in your face This long last year can't be erased All these fucking worst days Feels like I'm living in a dream Please wake me up before I leave All that you can say is You never asked that you would care Just give in, we'll never tell I thought I made it clear your existence Was a mere misunderstanding I'm coping with this hell, these lights won't let me tell If you would ask a second time I'd throw that door back in your face This long last year can't be erased But I will not be here since you left me I guess there's better things out there But I will not be back, I'd rather not be Hope you won't be here next year But I will not be here since you left me I guess there's better things out there But I will not be back, I'd rather not be Hope it gets better next year But I have not be here since you left me (I'll never see you again) I guess there's better things out there But I will not be back, I'd rather not be (I swear I hate this place) Hope I don't see you next year
5.
I am a firm believer in always scraping the shit off my dishes Before I have to put them away. Comb my hair down the line, always flattening corners. Frayed ends on my face, they weren't built to persuade. Fade away, not put in place. Align! Unite the piles, come to life. A line, you won't ever draw it twice. Align! Wipe it down, sanitize. Unwind, stay in for the night. Hold it there, show me that the space between those frames is real. I think my desk is a wreck, and this apartment's in mourning. Can't keep it in focus when it's set to decay. Uneven stacks of blood, and now I'm toying with danger. Sinking closets collapse, so that they'll keep me afraid. Fade away, not put in place. Align! Align! Align! Like all the problems in my life. A line, A line, A line, which straightened by the knife? A lie, a lie, a lie: Separation unassigned. Decide, decide, decide, which mental state am i. Hold it there, show me how the space between your eyes is real. Wipe it there, show me my reflection in your worried stare. That frightened glare. Align! With all the problems in my life. A line! I'm numb; unorganized. Align! take risks and then retry.
6.
If it fell a part would you take the blame, or would you deny all this reckless hate, that's shaped the world until it breaks because you threw it all away? My thoughts on you are all on pain, like heart ache, and bone breaks, the nausea's the same. This one's on you, I won't take part; oh crumbling world, please hit restart. So stay together; the last thing we need is silence and greed. Let's live forever: this broken machine is killing our breed. Stay together; your basement's a place where we can stay sane. Live forever: everyone dies in the end all the same.

about

Ukulele, bass, and drums tracked in my old bushwick apartment bedroom. Drums tracked with a child sized kit. Vocals tracked in my parent's living room.

"Hoarding Friends" originally from previous album (This is the Hardest I Will Ever Sell Out).

credits

released December 13, 2016

Album cover photo by Gonzalo Mavila

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Ilan Makes Noise! New York, New York

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